Weekend Programme ’Return to Yourself’, Serbia, 3-4 Oct, 2015 (Day 2, part 2)
Dharma and renunciation
Q: To be free in life, we have to be free from dependency. How is it possible in real life, when I take care of not only myself, but also of so many other people? How can you not depend on material things, because if you lose them it’s going to affect your kids, parents, etc. ?
A: The second aspect is renunciation. It means not giving up things. Non-dependency means that even if a material is available or not, you are neither affected, nor worried about it. However, basic needs do have to happen. The second aspect you discussed is giving up things. I am not talking about giving up things, like being a saint or a renunciate. When you have people who depend on you, you cannot be a renunciate. You have to take care of them, this is your duty. I always consider it this way. It’s just like, we have a body, arms, legs, eyes and face. The people who are connected to us are like an extension of our own body. I have a huge body in that way 🙂 If you look at it that way, then you will understand. Your parents, you children, are like an extension of your body. Then you will understand this answer. You have to take care of them. This is similar to taking a bath and feeding your own body.
Q: But I do worry, because if I lose this material support and they are dependent on me, how to just think God will take care of that!?
A: The best way to do that is to let all the anxieties and the worries happen. Take all of them, consider them, “Worries are happening, anxieties are happening“. Let it come. Do not stop anything. Because if you prevent, it will make more worry, so let it happen and consider them, and take them as flowers and put them at the feet of the Supreme consciousness saying, “You created us, you maintain us.“ It’s a mental thing. You keep surrendering. I always do that. If people praise me, “Mohanji you are wonderful, amazing,“ or criticise me, “You are a buffalo, a sheep whatever…“
I take them as flowers and put them at the imaginary feet of the Supreme consciousness. So that I always remain empty.
Second, is have more gratitude. “Because I am alive today, I am talking, there is food to eat, a place to sleep…, thank you.“ This is the only blessing we can have at this point in time, because we have not seen tomorrow. So, “Today I am alive, I am talking and I am grateful.“ If you swap your worries with gratitude, you will have more power. Just be grateful by nature.
There is one more aspect in connection to that. Whenever we expect consistency of emotions in people we will have sorrows. Remember this clearly. This is because the conscious mind cannot maintain anything consistently. Sometimes people tell you that you are amazing, beautiful, and all that, then tomorrow they may tell you the opposite too. Take both equally. This is especially related to infatuation. Infatuation means you get attracted instantly, falling in love at first sight. Sometimes when you fall in love at first sight, at second sight it will be hatred 🙂 So if you allow other people to be themselves, if you allow them to be as they are, it might be better for your stability. Expectation creates pain. The higher the expectation, the less the satisfaction. We need to be aware and do what we can with full honesty at every point in time. If it is not per the expectations of other people, what can we do? People come with expectation, leave with disappointment. People who come with full openness, leave with a full heart. There is a saying in the Upanishads, “The food that came to you today is the medicine for you. This may not be the food you chose, however the food which came to you is what is meant for you.“ This means you will only get what you deserve, not what you desire. We desire a lot of things, but our eligibility brings things to us. If you are supposed to feel pain or happiness, it will happen to you. There is no point in fighting or resisting it. At each point in time, observe life, “Ok, this is happening,“ and just flow with it. It will be a smooth life.
Expectations and judgement
Q: What happens with big expectations that we have about ourselves?
When you have a lot of expectations for yourself, you will also have a lot of judgement of yourself. When you judge yourself a lot you have a lot of suffering. Never judge yourself or other people. Then you are free. Each person sitting here now is a universe by themselves. Can you say that anybody is higher or lower? Nobody is higher or lower. Each person is a unique universe. This realisation is not happening to people only because the mind does not allow that experience. The mind will say, “No, no, you are this body, this person.“ When you have a lot of expectations for yourself, you are actually punishing yourself. You are being very critical about yourself. This will create more and more anxiety, and it will pull you down sooner or later. When there is a lot of weight, the travel is difficult. Whatever you are is ok and is good. Accept yourself. Other people accepting you or rejecting you is not your problem. They may sometimes say you are good, and sometimes that you are not good. It doesn’t matter to us. Let us be 100% honest with ourselves and with other people. That’s the best we can do in the world. We should always mean good to everybody. Once again, never judge other people. If you judge other people, you will also be judged.
Living by patterns
Q: You mentioned that we follow patterns and live by these patterns, and we get what we deserve. So it means that if we are in a wrong pattern, we are going to repeat it over and over again and suffer. Or could we somehow break away from it?
A: Yes, that’s exactly what I said. Patterns are usually formed out of the unconscious. When your activity does not contain fulfilment, it becomes a pattern. In other words, when you are repeatedly doing unconscious activity i.e. doing things while the mind is elsewhere, then it can become a pattern, a habit, repetition. The deserving level is which frequency you are operating in and how you are handling it. If you are handling too many emotions, then so many things can get stuck to it. Emotions happen, and the essence of it sticks in your subconscious. It all gets repeated. What do you deserve? When you are repeatedly unconscious, you deserve such a result. It’s interconnected. How do you raise your deserving level? By detaching from it. That means when an activity happens, you are detaching from it and watching it happen, and you are involved in it as an outsider. You are seeing yourself doing it. Every word you are having at a distance, they are staying away. Life keeps moving like that. You always remain pure.
Q: Does it mean that we have to accomplish things we didn’t finish?
A: It will come to you. Don’t worry. All the loose ends have to be tied, don’t worry. If you are here today, there is a history behind you. You didn’t just appear like this.
Q: If we let go, does it come back?
A: If you have nothing to do with it, it stays away. However, most people let go and they keep it. This means you surrender it to the Supreme consciousness, but then you keep worrying about that same thing. That means there is no surrender.
Laughing and crying
Q: Could you tell us about laughing?
A: I’ll tell you about an experience. We were sitting in a cable car in Scotland. Raj couldn’t stop laughing for no reason. I didn’t crack any jokes. What happened is that he connected to my consciousness. Then deep joy happened. His stomach was hurting, but he was still laughing. So actual consciousness is a huge joy. He connected and connected, he was laughing and laughing, and after some time his mind became completely blank, totally empty. When we allow actual joy to settle in, the whole thing shifts. Why aren’t we experiencing full happiness? It’s because the mind is blocking it. When you deeply connect to me, we have nothing to discuss, we just laugh. Some people do that. They come and laugh and laugh, and they go 🙂 That’s because when they actually see the real ’me’, there is only happiness, joy. Otherwise what you see is the face, the beard, the clothes, etc. This is just another person, an individual. When I asked him, “Why did you laugh so much?“ He said, “I don’t know.“ This is real joy, when it happens inside, all other things go. Then the connection is real, you are deeply connected. This is some kind of meditation. Even if you watch a comedy it may not be because ego is still there, you and what you are watching. However when you become joy, it’s a totally different scenario.
Q: Could you tell us about crying?
A: Crying out of sorrow is relief. Crying out of joy is recognition. Whenever you recognise a higher truth, tears happen. This is because you know what you have found. Usually when the soul recognises the source, tears happen.
Three levels of joy
Q: What are the three levels of joy?
A: There is the difference between pleasure, happiness and joy even though they sound similar. Pleasure is momentary. Happiness is perpetual, which means you can always be happy even without anything. Joy is recognition.
Most people only know pleasure, for example when you eat something, listen to music, when you do something, you have pleasure. Pleasure is compulsive. It repeats, and you ask for more. You have one cigarette and you ask for another one. Then when you are smoking, at that moment you have pleasure. After the smoking is over, then you want another one. Pleasure makes you a slave.
Happiness is a state. In that state, whether a person, material, time is there or not, you are peaceful. It’s a state of mind. In that state of mind, I say it is perpetual because the mind is still. In the still mind you are perfect.
When I say joy, even if it sounds similar, it sprouts when you actually connect to the source. When you meet a master who is connected to the source, and when your soul recognises, “Hey, look here. I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time. Now we are connected and we will not separate again.“ That feeling gives tremendous joy. What do we mean by a master? It’s not the status. Status and stature are two different things. Stature is something like your experience in work. You have a lot of experience in work and nobody can take it away from you. Like that, stature is something which you have earned. Whether you are recognised by society or not, you still have the stature. Status can be given by somebody. What makes a master different from a seeker? A seeker is someone who seeks happiness and peace. It’s not that many people whom you see in the world are seekers, they have only found something. Like the students who have reached the tenth class. They are eager to share the knowledge of the tenth class. Many seekers who seem to be masters have not ’graduated’ yet. They haven’t stabilised themselves. However the world gives status to people. Sometimes this status is very temporary. You may have seen people given the status of a head of an organisation or mission or a priest. All these are statuses given by somebody. They do not necessarily have the stature. Spiritual stature is achieved during lifetimes, not in one lifetime. So what makes a master? Stature. If the stature automatically gives status, very well. Otherwise the master is not affected. Take for example Socrates, Jesus, or Shirdi Sai Baba…
While in the body, many people did not even recognise them. Now, many years after their death, we consider them as great people. This means society did not give them status, but they had the stature. Stature is like a diamond or pure gold, it can never be destroyed. It will shine any time. Even if pure gold is lying in mud, after the rain it will shine again. However there is no guarantee with status. Status is like plated gold. Sometimes if the plating goes, there is copper inside. You can see a lot of people have been given the status without the stature. Stature has to happen. Fundamentally a master should have stature. Secondly, a master should be above his mind. That means he is not a slave to his mind. Master means not a slave. His mind is in its minimal state which he uses for experiencing the Earth, but his mind is not binding him. A master can respond in any way. He can be happy, sad, angry, anything, but at the same time he is none of these. When the mind is not binding you, nothing else can bind you. Even if something is binding you, if your mind is not binding you, you are free inside. This is the stature of people like Nelson Mandela. He was in prison for thirty years, but he was never bound. He was already liberated from inside, so he was not worried about where he stayed. This is something which we must understand. How do we create a master? Slowly, slowly when you detach from your mind, and get involved in activities as normal, without any change, but at the same time with no ownership, no attachment and no doership. If you can go inside and be that, nothing can stop you.
Somebody asked me a question, “Why do all these people come to see you?“ That’s very simple. I have nothing to do with anybody. When you have nothing to do with anybody, you are free. I can keep one face, I can be a clear mirror, because what I show is your real picture. When people get fed up of the fake picture which the world gives, they sometimes need a real picture. That’s what connects us. There is nothing else to give you. That’s very simple. I am not giving you anything from outside. What is happening is from the inside of all of you. Sometimes just a thought or a word, or just an idea, can shift your awareness. Why do people meet people? Because you feel connected. There is nothing to think about. You are connected. Then it’s only happiness. If I expect something from you, I have to pretend. When I say I have nothing to do with the world it doesn’t mean I am indifferent. I see a complete world. I don’t see a world with deficiency. When I am complete and you are complete, where is the problem? Whenever we feel deficiency, it is a projection of the mind. Take any creation of the world, there can’t be deficiency. There can be handicaps, but not deficiency. Our mind creates deficiency. We say this is not enough. When we are not satisfied with what we have, guaranteed, you will come back again. When you are not satisfied with what you have it means you created this existence consciously or unconsciously, and now you are not satisfied with this existence, and that means you need another one. That’s why we create patterns of existence.
Transcribed by Biljana Vozarevic
Proof-read by Caroline Moscato