Zoom satsang, part 2
27th January 2019
You can watch the full video here:
Q: Do affirmations such as “I am happy, I am healthy,” have any true benefit for our well-being?
A: Provided you believe in them. If you believe you cannot be happy, but keep repeating the affirmations, it will be your emotion. Whenever you say, “I am happy,” subconsciously you will say “I am not happy, I am faking it,” then it will not work. If you strongly believe you are happy, let it display in your life. You can be happy in your worst sorrows. It lies in the way you handle the situation. Many times affirmations are coming from helpless minds. There is a deep helplessness inside. And to cover that, to camouflage that, we say, “Hey, I am happy.” That is pretension. Many people with depression appear extraordinarily bright in the society – one day you will be surprised when they commit a suicide. You never realise they were suppressing it all these years because they learnt to camouflage their real situation for a long time and they were used to it. At one point in time, there is a big fall. I love affirmations. I love positivity, it’s all fine, but you should believe in what you say. If you believe you have something to do in life, that is the best. Not just something to do, you have to believe that you have big things to do. Don’t just live and die. Make a difference in the world outside. You can! If you start doing that, when you are actually making a difference in other people’s lives, the words coming through you, will have a reality connected to it. Whatever you speak with a root, a basis in reality is transformative. However, if you just say, “I’m happy, I’m happy…” you know, “I’m not really happy, I’m faking”. Imagine that you talk like that. What will happen? Eventually you are saying something and realise “I’ve learnt to fake.” You should understand this. You should never fake. If you are not happy, say, “I’m not happy.” The story ends there. You are just reflecting one situation. And then tomorrow when you are happy, say, “I’m really happy.” You should mean it, believe in it and feel it. That will make a difference. Also, if you are not happy how do you handle the life? Do something for the less happy. Imagine that you are not happy, you are sad. The situation is not good. Get out into the world, go and serve someone who’s even less privileged than you. Then you feel, “I’m much better off and I could help this person.” You will feel much better. Be practical. In everything you do, be practical. It’s very important. You can change your situation just with your attitude. You can’t simply sit behind your computer, talk or chat on Whatsapp. It won’t help. You need to go into the world and make a difference in people’s lives. “People” means beings of every species. All species have people – please remember, “People” doesn’t mean human beings. Every animal, bird or insect is a person. They are all unique. They are all creations. Everything is a creation. All are people. They all have one thing in common – their need for peace. We are all the same. We like to be peaceful and every being would like to be peaceful. Go out and help them to be peaceful, you will feel great. That is real happiness. Your purposefulness, clarity of purpose, ability to add value to lives of beings will make you deeply happy. Then you will definitely say, “I’m happy” because you are actually happy. You may not even say that. But everybody will know you are happy. Does that make more sense?
Q: Does sexual gratification hinder spiritual practice and growth?
A: Why do we consider sexual gratification as something different from your life? No being on this earth, except human beings, keep sex in their mind. This is something connected to your body, connected to your instinct. Sexuality is connected to the species. Without sexuality there is no species, just as food is connected with your physical form. Your body needs food. So appetite, food and sexuality are instincts. We have instincts, every being in this world has instinct, but no being is as worried about sexuality as human beings.
Why do we think about it all the time!? The problem is that we keep sex in the mind, look at sexuality as a sin and add guilt to it. It becomes a burden in your head. Instead, if you look at sexuality as part of life, and move along, it is not at all a burden. When your mind is occupied with sexuality all the time, then you see everything around through that mind. Otherwise, when you see everything as it is, it is fine. So it’s important that you handle every aspect of life with its due merit, that’s it. It’s not about sexuality, it’s about every aspect of life.
Nothing will hinder your spirituality. It will add up to it. Whenever there is suppression, whenever there is discrimination, whenever there is manipulation because of a socio-moral structure, then its size is much larger than its actual size. Otherwise there is no problem. We can handle any situation and no situation is bad, no situation is extraordinarily good, everything is a reality. Handle it as a reality. Everything comes, everything goes. Nothing has to stay forever. Nothing will stay forever including you. And we see a lot of suppression in the society at various levels including food, clothing, etc. because of socio-moral, cultural and structural rules. These are actually imprisoning people’s minds. Otherwise, where is the problem? Our socio-moral setup has created dos and don’ts, but we in India have appreciated every aspect of human existence ever since mankind began. We appreciated it, gave its due merit to everything and nothing really bothered us, ever. But today we overtly discuss and blame people because they hold certain aspirations, “Oh, he/she should not have done like that…” We are not eligible to judge even ourselves, why bother about other people?
Who are we to judge another person? Everything has its reason. Without a reason, nothing happens in life. Everything happens in time, space, situation, people in a particular environment, with a particular awareness. That cannot be changed. That is what we call destiny and that continues. It’s a flow. Everything changes. What you wanted yesterday may not have any value today. It’s just like a newspaper. If I gave you newspaper from last week, what will you do? You’ll probably use it as a toilet paper because it has no value, it does not have any more utility. Just like that every moment is ending – something is beginning, something is ending, life keeps going. The ideal is to not keep anything in your mind. Keep your mind empty, clean. And what comes to you, that is the reflection you need in the mind at that point in time. Don’t keep it there. Once it comes, you reflected it, it’s gone. Another moment, it appears, you reflect that, that’s gone. Like that it’s a continuous flow and you will never carry any weight. I never believe that you should carry anything in your mind for more than a reasonable period of time. If at all you are carrying it, it’s connected to suppression.
Suppression means postponement. Postponement means you need gratification at another point in time. It also could mean that you need to take another life. We see that happening. Some individuals continuously drink, spoil their life and then die. Others wonder, “Why are they drinking so much alcohol?” It is because of suppression at another time. When I say “Don’t do something,” the only thought you will have is about that thing. In the story where a guru told his disciple, ”Think about anything except a black monkey”, the only thought the student had was a that of a black monkey! Why? When you deny something, it becomes predominant in your system. Just like that, when you are excessively worried or suppressing something, it keeps coming back. Instead, you deal with all these things, “Ok, this is happening, that’s fine, another event is happening, that’s fine…” like that you go on, you are flowing smoothly, like a beautiful river and there will be no problem in you joining the ocean at some point. On the other hand, if you are carrying a lot of weight, you have to dispose off all the weight before you reach the ocean. That is why I say suppression is the biggest harm you can do to yourself. I don’t regard anything as good or bad, with the exception of violence. I don’t like violence because violence leaves a residue in the air, in the atmosphere and in the minds of people who were affected and creates similar things there. It’s just like positivity – you express compassion or kindness, that brings forth more of such emotions in people. Say, you shared what you had with another person. That feeling will increase the aspect of sharing in you. There are many who talk but do nothing in life. These people will also eventually start having depression. They never delivered what they said. Instead, someone who is spontaneously delivering (positively) will always be rich and will always be liberated. I always say do not enter into the zone of violence in thoughts, words or action. That will leave your inner space pure and also keep your outer space pure. All those connected (to you) will feel good. So the only thing you need to remember is keep adding value to society.
And do not store what you don’t really need. Especially today, in the internet age, you can have all sorts of things from the internet. I don’t think this is something we need to be worried about. Many people say, “Oh, my god, it’s a very dirty world now!” Dirt is not in the world outside, dirt is inside. The world is how you look at it. If you have dirt inside, you will only see dirt outside. You can be pure and you can have a pure world. You cannot change whatever happens in the world unless you change. Inside, you remain pure. If you are pure, then it’s fine. Then the vibration that comes out of you will also bring purity in whichever degree. When you are very popular, you can bring more purity, when you are not popular, you can bring purity in the society, or at least in your household. Everything is fine, as far as the society is concerned.
So, I would say that nothing hinders spirituality if you are pure inside. This is my opinion.
Q: When I increase my sadhana and then strive to realise myself I feel the rise of ego within me. Kindly advise me how to manage this situation.
A: The answer is in the question – you said “I” four times. That is the problem: “I, I, I, I”. Remove this “I” and just be. Change. Be sadhana, be you. Be everything and you’ll be liberated.
Q: When a guru takes suffering off his disciple, does the disciple have to go through the suffering again? If not, does he lack this experience in evolution?
A: Guru has no suffering. Suffering is from the mind. Guru may have pains, but suffering is a choice. Suffering means that you are resisting something. Only when you resist something, there is suffering. Guru can release some things from a disciple, which the disciple does not have the capacity to handle, only out of compassion, not out of expectation. Imagine a disciple is really working hard to reach the highest on earth, the guru sees that one matter is preventing it, guru will take it away. And guru is not suffering – it’s almost like he sees himself in the disciple and it’s like self-help in that mode. Understand this clearly. It is not a favour. In the social, commercial world, that is, in society every transaction is a favour. However in a guru-disciple relationship, there are no favours. If disciple trusts the guru, it becomes the guru’s job to take him forward. Just like the driver of your bus. You trust the driver and the bus, you enter the bus; then it’s a driver’s job to drive you. You can’t sit on the driver’s seat and drive. You do not know how to do it. So your job is to make sure you are seated and then to trust the driver and the driver takes you. Guru will not just take everything over from a disciple, there is no need to do that. If the Guru does, the disciples become too lazy and do nothing. But when the Guru understands that this disciple has gone so far, and if he removes a couple of pins from him, the disciple will cross over, then the guru takes it over. This is because that’s easier than to give ten different guidelines on how to cross over. Therefore this is an act of compassion, not with expectation. Every transaction from a guru to a disciple is not connected to either a favour or an expectation.
And this is not usual because we don’t have that kind of committed disciples now. Most are judgemental disciples – “If the guru does this, I’ll follow him. If he doesn’t, I will follow another guru.” Many people you see around follow various gurus; so no guru gives them anything; no guru takes ownership or commitment. This is today’s world, because of it being the internet age, travel is easy, you can visit any guru who looks good or suitable, smells good, talks good and so on. What happens then is a real connection is not happening. The guru taking over happens only when the connection is unshakeable. The guru knows very well that the disciple is his responsibility; the disciple knows he’s not going anywhere. He’s going to be with the guru. Then, it becomes a mutual agreement: you become me, I become you. In that mode, taking over happens. Again, the guru is not suffering. There might be pain in the body, but there is no suffering because there is gratification – one person is liberated. Guru came to deliver. Perhaps part of it is taking over that particular burden.
Always remember one thing. It all depends on how deep the connection is. Most of the time the connection is transactional. Everybody keeps a boundary, “Within this boundary, if everything is ok, I’ll follow this guru.” It’s like an option. When it’s an option, everybody is uncommitted, guru is not committed, the disciple is not committed. For example, if you are in my house, I must make sure you have eaten food. If you are in somebody else’s house, it’s not my responsibility to feed you. Simple. Just like that. Hence that consistency is very important. If you are fully consistent, if you are fully committed, if you have 100% conviction and you are here forever, then it’s my responsibility, I must ensure that you are fed well, that you are guided well. This is how it works.
In the world today, it is more of glamour, glitter and visible impact. It is about what you see, “I like this, I don’t like this”, somebody says, “He is good, I like it.” Somebody says, “He is very bad, I don’t like him…” Too many influences come from the society and people buy them; for example, “All gurus are bad ” and such statements and we buy into it. When you buy into it, you are denying your own progress, not only there’s no progress, you are actually diminishing the shine of the guru principle (Guru Tattwa) within you. Guru Tattwa which is shining bright becomes weaker because you do not trust it. So, it is not that you are placing trust on a person. You trust a situation, a state. A guru is a state. Shiva is a state. You are a state. From your state to that state, that’s the journey. From you as a unit to the universe is the journey. Universe happens to you. As I explained earlier, the drop becomes the ocean and the ocean becomes the drop. In this mode, you have to be steadfast. Say for instance, a person said, “Babaji, I’d like you to be my guru.” Baba said, “You are not eligible. You are not pure enough.” Then the man said, “If you don’t accept me, I’ll commit a suicide.” Babaji said, “Please go ahead.” The man jumped from a hill and died. Then Babaji fetched his body and reintroduced the soul. With one death he overhauled himself and then came back. Many times the guru gives you this experience of rebirth so that you become eligible in one lifetime, for what you could probably have become eligible only after many lifetimes. Guru does these things. You may not even know. But you need to be consistent. If you are not consistent, what can a guru do? Guru will not say, “See I am the greatest guru.” It’s up to you to decide. Whichever guru you follow, be there, steady, all the time. Otherwise, nobody can serve you. Guru means somebody who is stabilised in a state of no mind, no thought state; a person who has actually connected to the Supreme Consciousness, the Source. That is the guru and that guru will always be available. It is always available. And always remember it is not just a person, but a state. Thus if you are looking at a person and his appearance, dressing and the way he talks or whatever other reasons, you missed the main principle – the state, the state of the master. The State is what can transform you, not the personality. Personality can only attract, the state can transform. You are connecting with the master for the sake of that transformation. Real spirituality is transformational. If transformation does not happen, there is no reason to be spiritual. You might as well go to the pub and have beer, it’s better. If transformation, which means less thoughts happens, that is, there’s no rush of thoughts, you are peaceful, the whole existence will be peaceful; it will not be violated by emotions. Transformation (will be) into that state which will not be violated by anything around you. Guru will take you to that level and then to the level where you are completely dissolving. But for that you need to be present. If you are not there consistently and continuously, how can a guru take you anywhere? Imagine the bus is outside the door, but you have already gone for a morning walk. The bus will wait for some time and it will leave. What I explained is just like that. I hope it is clear.
Q: You are saying to accept a person with positive attribute along with negative attribute, but if the negative attribute is harming you, and not improving with time, then what should be done in that case?
A: All of us are a mixture of positive and negative, good and bad. We are positive and negative, everything is part of us. When you suppress the negative and enhance the positive, imbalance happens. When you look at positive and negative alike, both will dry up. If you are looking for stability of the mind, it has to be in a way where positive and negative are equally appreciated. On the plane called earth we have learnt to be possessive. We can see (what exists) in the world from what you see in the newspaper – people showing off and trying their best to prove that they are substantial in this life. All these – the accolades, the applause – are making us greedy for a kind of survival where everybody approves us. And also understand, when people approve of you, it also becomes your burden. Everything is a burden, so whatever you resist, stays longer, mainly the negative aspect. We talked about sexuality, money aspects, etc,. many of these we deny, we resist, we refuse to address. What will then happen? It will stay longer because there is some suppression. So if you are fine with both your negative and positive, understand that all the people on this earth have positive and negative too. You can’t avoid it because there is no way you are only positive. Show me one person who is only positive. Show me only one person who is only negative. It’s always a mixture. Thus when you suppress something, that aspect becomes predominant because its quota increases. Accept and live with every aspect of you because everyone has every aspect. I never said I am perfect because I know I am not perfect, nor is anyone else perfect. There is no need to be perfect. You are as you are and you do your best in this world. I ask people to try to add value to the society in which you live, in your own way. If you have time to give, give time. If you have love to give, give love. If you have money to give, give money. If you have knowledge, skills, experience to share, share that. Whatever you have, share. That way you always become rich. You always feel rich, you feel good. That is all you can do.
This whole comparison is a wasted exercise. I have never seen anybody totally positive including me. I’ve never seen anybody totally negative including me. Hence we are all the same, we are all human beings walking this earth and let us not lead ourselves to believe that we are gods and that we should not have blemishes. I have fallen many times in life before I learnt to walk. Even today, I haven’t learnt to walk. It’s always a continuous process. At various times you make a decision, sometimes history will say that the decision was wrong, in relationships, in life. In various situations, in business, we make numerous decisions not expecting a bad result. However, sometimes it gives a bad result. Don’t blame yourself for it because we are all beings with various ingredients, we are a mixture of many things. So sometimes we can fail – that’s fine, we learn from it, we understand there can be failures, there can be successes, it is a mixture. Although there have been failures, you are not a failure. Although there has been success, you are not success, it is all situational. Certain situations brought success to you and certain situations brought failure to you. Both are fine, that’s still you. Acceptance at that level is important. Then the negative and positive will not affect you much. And don’t look at anybody as potentially negative or potentially positive because you will have disappointment. Somebody wrote to me recently, “Mohanji, I look at you as the perfect human being.” I said, “You are asking for disappointment very soon.” Such people will tomorrow say, “Oh, I said he’s a great man but he is a stupid guy, “. It is the same problem. When you position someone above a certain limit, then it becomes your job to maintain it, not that person’s! At various times we encounter disappointment because of our notion about somebody, not because of their problem. You can follow certain things you like, maybe the way I do something or talk, whatever… that’s fine. That is to groom you and that is all. But don’t look at another person as totally positive or totally negative; we are all a mixture. Allow everything in everybody and there is no disappointment. You will be happy with people.
Relationships will have longevity. You will have longer relationships. If you build any relationship with expectation, just look at how many days it will last. Period. Consider the relationships you build with anybody, be it family or friends, any relationship built on expectation will have a short life. That is guaranteed. I’ve experienced it with my life because people whom I have loved a lot started having more and more expectations. Next expectations led to possessiveness. Possessiveness becomes very difficult because you can’t own anybody. I don’t own myself, I can’t own anyone, I lead a life of freedom. Others could say, “No, he should do what I say”. But it is karmically not possible. You cannot guarantee that your children will exactly do what you say because they are also karmic beings. When they are very young, it’s different, but when they grow up, they have their life because their karma leads them, destiny takes them forward. So whenever expectations and possessiveness happen, the result is always disappointment. Then other emotions follow – anger, hatred, jealousy, revenge, and so on, all of which make your frequency bad, low. It would be better to have relationships without expectations so that you can always smile at each other. Otherwise we always end up frowning, “Oh, look at this guy,” that is not good. This is important to understand.
Q: If one identifies oneself differently from the gender they are born with, how does one orient themselves in society and culture where it’s not acceptable?
A: This is a conflict we can easily sort out by acceptance; when you accept yourself as you are and you behave as it is. The basic ingredients such as gender, life span, place of birth, etc. are determined before you took birth. That is why you were born in a particular time, situation or place. It has to start with acceptance. Everything has to begin with acceptance. You have to accept yourself the way you are. You reflect yourself as you accept. When you start accepting yourself, the whole society will accept you. If you do not accept yourself, nobody can accept you in any way. And you can see that in the society too. Your acceptance will be the deciding factor for the social acceptance. If you are fully comfortable in your own skin, the entire world accepts you. If the world is not accepting you, don’t look at the world – look inside. What is it in you that you are not accepting? If you are not accepting one aspect, that will reflect in the society. If you are not accepting two aspects in you, that will reflect in the society, too. If you do not accept yourself at all, nobody accepts you. You become a loner. This is as simple as that.
Q: Should we donate our body to medical college for research after death for the benefit by the medical students?
A: That’s an individual decision, what can I say? If you feel like doing it, do it.
Q: How can a disciple express gratitude toward his guru?
A: With his life. A disciple expresses gratitude to his guru through life. If you live the teachings from the master, there is no better guru dakshina (the offering). The greatest offering is living the teachings, living the life. Don’t look at the guru and say, “Oh, he eats, smokes, drinks,…” Instead, look at the basic teachings, that is,
what is the core teaching, the core method of the path of Datta, our path?
Self-acceptance. Starting with self-acceptance, making every moment worthwhile for the society outside, living a life of compassion, kindness, unconditional love, sharing, caring, purity in thought, word, action, selflessness… and respect and gratitude.
Respect and gratitude should never be conditional. It is the biggest tragedy of all if it were conditional. It shows on your lack of integrity. The single most important gift you can give to yourself as a disciple is integrity. Yesterday, today and tomorrow – if you are the same, then the guru showers grace on you. Not only the guru but the entire tradition showers grace on you, just because of your consistency. If, because of social or moral reasons, whatever be the reason, you keep fluctuating, there is none who would be able to guide or help you. Hence the highest gift you can give to your guru is to live the teachings of the guru, to the point that you become the same person, an extension of the person whom you consider as the guru. Then it is forever.
Furthermore, when you are leaving the body, you will also have dissolved everything. Yesterday, in a different context, I was talking about guru’s exit. The time of the exit from the body of a guru is like an event. When a person has established himself in himself, that means he is fully stabilised, has dissolved the mind, has fully aligned body, mind, intellect, ego and spirit and he is in the perfect state of stillness (state of Shiva), then at the time of death he is not leaving. He is expanding. It’s very much like a huge explosion, similar to an atomic explosion. At that time, whoever is with this guru will automatically enter that zone. In other words, a group of people will also get into that dimension and that’s an extremely rare opportunity. When the guru is leaving, this kind of event is rare, as the guru usually moves away from everybody or sends people away and then leaves or expands. So “death”, the real mahasamadhi of a master is not death. Death is when soul leaves the body. In this case, the soul is not leaving. Soul, the drop, is completely conglomerated, then it expands. That means the unit becomes the universe. The phase of the unit becoming the universe is a huge event in the world. You have heard about great masters like Ramana Maharishi and others. The time of their leaving (the body) or their expansion is a great event. Extremely few disciples get to be with the guru at that time. Prior to that, a lot of screening will happen. People have to be really committed, completely merged and dissolved into the guru, in order to be with the guru at that time. Those are the persons who gather. Then the guru knows and takes over (the earlier question of a guru taking over). This time the guru not only takes over, but also dissolves and burns everything and he leaves. And that is completion for all these people. That’s a very rare event. To reach there, the person should be steady, committed and have unshakeable faith. Otherwise many come and go. The guru has nothing to do with them. He gives whatever their capacity is and that’s it. But when the disciple has unshakeable faith, total commitment, no change or deviation (in path), and the guru is his only object of connection, it becomes not only the responsibility of the guru, but guru has to merge the disciple into himself and take him. Such people may not die immediately, but their entire constitution changes. Their remaining time would be in stillness, they exist in stillness and when they leave, they become the ocean. They will not come back to take birth and continue the journey once again.
I said this because there are many factors which people do not understand, society does not understand, they look at a person, what he says, and some things of that nature and believe it to be the entire picture. These are possibly delusions; the form, the expression could also be delusion. They are probably screening people because those who are not eligible to stay must go. And it’s an everyday test. To be eligible to completely dissolve, you need to be completely purified from cellular level, from atom level because we have collected so much from many lifetimes. We must always remember this. That means we are what we are today because of our past. “The past” means we have carried lots of material from the past to make our present today. Hence we are also what we were in the past. We are also the past. To be the future we need to shed the past. Many times it’s painful because of possessions and possessiveness. We are possessive about individuals, our positions, possessions, all those things, so to take you off all these and make you completely clear, clean, for you to dissolve, the guru works harder than you, but you need to be consistent.
In conclusion, what best you can give is live the teachings of your guru and be steadfast in your connection. At times the guru could throw you out just to test you to see whether you will go away. If you have ego you will be insulted and you will go. If you have tackled your ego, nothing will work, you won’t be insulted, like in the story of Dipaka.
Guru was abusing him day in and day out, but Dipaka continued to serve him. Lord Shiva came, Lord Vishnu came because of the steadfast attention the disciple was providing to the guru. Avatars came, masters came, and gods came. Still, the disciple was not perturbed. His focus was guru, nothing else mattered. Then he became a great master himself. That’s the point.
So what can you give to the guru?
Live the teachings, make the guru present everywhere; when you go, people should see the guru. Then you have done your part and when it is time for you to go, to merge, the guru takes over. It’s the guru’s responsibility. That’s the beauty of the Tradition.
Transcribed by Biljana Vozarevic Proof-read by Vidya Rajagopalan