Paying the price for gossip

Welcome to Mohanji Speaks. Hello friends, hope you are doing well. 

Today, we’ll talk about the anatomy of gossip. We are used to it, right? People talk bad about people. People gossip about people. We read a lot of stuff in the sleazy magazines. And it sells well; people are curious to know who’s sleeping with whom, who’s got more money, how he made it, so many different things we are curious. We love scandals, right? But there is a price for all this. The main price is the contamination of our mind, internal contamination. Whatever we consume, leaves an impact on our system. If we consume negativity, our mind becomes negative; the residue remains in our mind. If we think positive, talk positive and do positive things in the world, our inner space gets purified. Our existence is between this contamination and purification.

Now we take a step further, let’s analyze it a little bit. What are gossips? Why are they happening? A) It is the curiosity that we have about other people, their lives, their ways. Secondly, it could be jealousy we have, or we feel underprivileged than certain people, so we would like to know that they are not all right. We would like to know the bad news because we feel better when we hear this bad news. This is a sadistic pleasure. Another reason could be the appetite for negativity. Many of us have an appetite for negative things, so we like to consume them by default. It’s like a smoker, we keep smoking, and we don’t know that it’s bad for the body, or any addiction, for that matter. We keep doing it, and we think it’s fine until we become so heavy. Another problem with this is, as I explained earlier, what we consume, we become. So, when we consume negative things, we start looking at the world through the eyes, which it has provided. Gossips, scandals, all kinds of thoughts, actions, talking bad about others, character assassinating people, especially in public; these produce heavy karma, a huge price for doing this; because we are talking about another karmic being, just expressing and experiencing their own karma, in their life. In fact, we have nothing to do with it. But we interfere, intervene, we think, we talk, and we pay the price for it. Everything has a price; nothing is free. 

When somebody creates gossips, scandals; when somebody character assassinates another person, who’s responsible? Primarily, the person who’s initiating it is responsible. He or she ends up paying the real price. And it’s quite a huge debt, based on the impact it created. First of all, the person who initiates it has to pay a huge debt. Maybe it will take various lifetimes to clear. It’s absolutely not worth it. Secondly, the contamination that it creates in the minds of various people, who gets to pay for that? The person who initiates pays for that also. If that person whose mind has contaminated the reader, the listener, and they transfer it further; they also end up paying a part of it.

This is how it works. That means the initiator pays the maximum. Then whoever is contaminated is also the responsibility of the initiator. He or she has to pay for their contamination, or their state, whatever happens with them. And if they further transfer it to others also, they have to pay, to some extent.

So, every level of contamination has a high, big, huge price; this should be very clear. So, it’s not just a very ordinary thing, a simple thing. It may sound very simple. And it is sometimes even pleasurable. We talk bad about people spontaneously as if it’s nothing. But there is a price to pay. With our contamination, there’s a huge price. Our mind is contaminated because we are the producers. Then, when we write it, and we contaminate other minds, we pay the price for that as well.

All of these are very complicated. Personal contamination is vital. Because when you sow something like this, you have to reap the same thing. It means, other people may contaminate you further, or people may go against you, you may experience the same thing which you have initiated. People may talk bad about you, say that you are very bad. All those things are possible. All that I’m saying is, what you initiate, you end up consuming. What you cook, you will end up eating. You may share it, and some people may eat it; some people may reject it. The price is vital; this has to be clearly understood. Don’t think that you can talk anything, do anything, say anything and even write anything and you will be out of it. It’s absolutely not true. Whatever you initiated, whatever you sowed, you have to reap, the price has to be paid. 

What is the reward for the victim? This is also an interesting subject. Imagine you contaminated or you talked bad about somebody; automatically, they get purified. The people whom you are talking about will have a sudden level of purification because it’s like some bad energy has happened in somebody’s body and a mosquito came and took it away, or some insect came and took it, or released it. Leeches suck the bad blood, and the bad blood is gone. Like that, a person about whom these people are talking, these people are also taking their bad energies out. An element of purification happens to the victim; the victim is purified. So, that way there is a bonus, there is a good thing. But that’s not the intention of the talker, the sayer. 

The intention of the sayer is to contaminate, tarnish the image, character assassinate the person, for which they have to pay a very, very huge price. It will go into debt, and also it goes into the lineage. We talked about the lineage earlier. This is bad karma for the lineage. The lineage ends up paying for a long time because of the bad actions of this person. It says that when a saint happens in a lineage, at least seven generations before him and seven generations after him, are purified, are benefited, are elevated. The birth of a saint in a family is a big deal. Likewise, the birth of a negative person in the family is the opposite. At least seven generations before him and seven generations after him or her will have to pay the price. 

It is not only the contamination that you create within yourself; it is also that you create in the world outside, as well as you create in the family lineage. Understand this very clearly, and before you spontaneously gossip or unconsciously scandalize somebody, please remember the price that you have to pay. It is not ordinary, it is invisible, but you will know in real life how it takes place. You will experience either the same thing or a much more serious thing. Or you will see that as various types of blockages in your own life. Don’t think this is something silly and just enter into a bad company and talk bad about people, gossip, write about them and scandalize them; a very, very big price to pay. And any friends who are influencing you to do such things should be immediately thrown out. If you’re doing this under the influence of somebody, please remember that person will not take responsibility. It will entirely come on your shoulder because you are in the firing line; you are exposed. People know that you are doing it, even if you don’t put your name, they will know you are doing it. And the person who instigated or inspired you to do it will not be responsible, will not take the blame; they will not take the burden. You have to sort that out yourself.

I leave you with these thoughts. Please be careful how you interact with what you do. If you dislike something, if you dislike somebody; walk away. Go away. Stay away and leave them alone. They will handle their own karma. Karma is always truthful; karma always pays. If you have done something wrong, you will end up getting the rewards for it, positive or negative; you don’t have to worry about it. We do good work in the world. We spread positivity, we spread love, we spread compassion, kindness, selflessness, and that will keep us elevated at all times. I hope this is clear. If you have any questions, I will clarify further. 

Lots of love. This is Mohanji, for you.

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Transcribed by Ulla Bernholdt

Proofread by Rekha Murali

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In memory of Ammu – Loss transformed into something positive

Today is August 23, 2020. 20 years ago, on August 23rd, 2000, Ammu passed away. Many people ask me about the memories of that time. I always maintained, “This is my personal sorrow and I don’t want to talk about it because this sorrow is not relevant for the whole world.” The loss of Ammu affected us as a family. It affected me, especially, because I was deeply connected to her. I used to talk to her as a friend. Even though she was only four years and 10 months old, I always interacted with her as a friend, not as a father. She somehow made me connect to myself, connect to that aspect of love, which I was missing, or one that I had never experienced in life. And I respected her, for her individuality. 

I always tried to provide the best I could, within my means, at that time. We were living in Dubai and it was quite expensive there. Most of my salary; about 40% of it used to go for rent. So it was not that easy for me to provide many things, because I didn’t have a lot of money. Still, whenever I used to go to buy grocery etc., she used to come with me and would pick up some toys or other small playthings. She was usually happy about it. I came to India for holidays towards the end of July for almost a month. I planned to spend some time in Kerala, with Ammu, my ex-wife, her mother and my parents, and then to go to Pune to look at some land which I had bought at that time and then further to Rishikesh to feel the Himalayas; and then come to Delhi and then fly to Dubai. That was the plan. 

On the 23rd of August was my flight from Kochi to Pune. So I decided to leave on 22nd afternoon. I had an appointment in Kochi that day, so I decided to honour that, and then proceed further to Pune.

On 22nd, post-lunch, as I was preparing to leave; a taxi had already come; almost suddenly Ammu started crying. She was used to my travels; she was used to my absence. So this was unusual, and she asked me to lift her, to hold her in my arm. I lifted her up; I held her and with her right hand, she was kind of soothing my chest. She said, “Papa, please don’t go”. She was crying. I kissed her and said, “We will meet in a few days; after 10 days we’ll be meeting in Dubai, Papa has to go.” And she was still crying; my mother, my father, and all of us tried to pacify her. Then I kept her on my lap, and I sat on the chair for a little bit. She was still soothing my chest with her right hand and she was still crying, ”Please don’t go”. And I said, “I have to go, but I will meet you soon.”

Then I got ready to leave; I sat in the car – the backseat of the taxi, on the right side; the glass was down, and through the window, she kissed my cheek – my right cheek. It was wet with tears. My father was holding her, and she was leaning in through the window, and she kissed me on my cheek. My cheek was wet for some time. The taxi left for Kochi. I never saw Ammu alive again. 

On 23rd early morning, I left for Pune. I reached Pune. I came out of the airport; while I was in the car, I heard the news of Ammu’s accident. They didn’t tell me that she died. They told me that there was a major accident and that Ammu was in the hospital. Intuitively, I knew that she was no more. This was August 23rd. I did not visit the land; I tried to find a way to reach Kerala, but there were no flights from Pune to Kochi. I had to go to Mumbai. Somehow, we managed a taxi. And I had to find some money to pay for the additional flight because I had already booked to fly from Pune to Delhi etc. Everything had to be cancelled. I reached Bombay (Mumbai); got a night flight, and by morning 6 am on August 24th, I reached Kochi. I went directly to my ex-wife’s house where Ammu’s body was kept. It was the end of a part of my life, rather, Mohan, died that day; died with Ammu.

Ammu was with my mother and father on 22nd. And on 22nd, there were preparations for Sri Krishna Janmashtami which was on 23rd that year, and Ammu insisted on going to the temple to see the decoration of Krishna.

She kept insisting, and there was rain. So my father said, “It’s raining, so let’s not go”. But Ammu said, “No, we should go!”. They took her to the temple. She went straight up to the Sanctum Sanctorum, as much as she was allowed to go. She stood there watching the beautiful Krishna, and she prayed for a long time.

My mother and father were watching her from behind; they kept calling her, but she did not look and kept praying to Lord Krishna for a long time, quite unusual for a four-year-old child. Then, while coming back, my mother asked why you were praying so much. “What were you praying for?” She said, “No, I’m playing with him. I’m playing with Krishna. I play with Krishna”. My mother said, “We are human beings, we can’t see Krishna. We can only see the idol, we can’t see the real Krishna”. She said, “Of course, I can see Krishna. I see him. I play with him!” Then she said that you cannot see because you are not praying enough. You are not surrendering enough!” A four and a half-year-old child is saying this to her grandmother!

So, on the 24th, we cremated Ammu. We gave her body to the fire. And 10 days I had to spend there, even though it was very painful to talk to people and to communicate when I wanted isolation. A lot of people were coming. There was a huge crowd, on the day of her cremation, unusually large for a four and a half-year-old child, and at that time I was not known as Mohanji; this crowd was unusual. 

And then, as I said, one phase of my life ended. I came back to Palakkad, after all the ceremonies. When I opened my briefcase, which I had packed to take to Dubai, three unusual things were there in the bag, which I had not packed. One was a ‘Pears’ soap; a soap with the brand “P-e-a-r-s”, a transparent soap; the second was a small bouncing rubber ball; the other one was a bangle. The bangle and the ball belonged to Ammu that was the last gift, which she had wanted and we bought for her, just a few days ago and she had kept it in my bag; she had returned it. And the bangle, I don’t remember when we bought it for her, but she had kept it also there, in the bag, to give it to me.

As for the ‘Pears’ soap, there is a brief history. When I came from Dubai, in July, I came home around 5 am, it was a night flight, and I wanted to take a bath. So I told my ex-wife,” I’d like to have a soap”, and she gave me the soap which Ammu uses. Ammu said, “ No, I want this soap, don’t give it to anybody. Don’t give it to Papa”. So my ex-wife gave me another soap. And I used it for my bath. 

Probably out of guilt, she had kept the same soap; Ammu used to love Pears soap and she always wanted to use that soap. She kept that soap, a fresh one, in my bag as compensation, because she didn’t give me hers. Later on, my ex-mother-in-law said they had bought and kept a few soapboxes and one box was empty. She had taken the soap; Ammu had taken that soap. So, she was returning something, and that thing was in the bag; she kept it! Looking back, the whole event was extremely painful!

And when I came back to Dubai after all this, my company told me that they were reducing staff and that I would have to look for another job. After 2000, one by one, everything that I had built up crashed. I separated from my wife. I lost my belongings; it was stolen; I had kept it in the house in Kerala and it was stolen. I had invested in a house, in a flat and the builder ran away. Later we all assembled, and I could sell it, and pay back the loans. Then I lost my job; it was a crazy existence, literally. So many turbulence in life. Everything was falling. The sand beneath my feet was slipping. The agony which I experienced at the death of Ammu, the only closest connection I had in this whole world was lost; plus all the other materials. Later on in life, I have experienced betrayals, stabbing from behind, etc. But they seemed like nothing, compared to the loss of Ammu.

So, these are some of my memories of that time. I am talking about it because some people asked me to recount it; not for any sympathy; I never accept sympathy at that time and even now; nor do I have self-pity. 

What the world should know is what I made out of that experience of sorrow. That’s probably important for the world. Ammucare happened. ACT foundation happened. Ammu’s energy touched many lives; transformed many lives; gave solace to many lives. What happened after this incident has more value than the incident.

There are so many children dying in the world; so many people are dying; because we don’t know them, it doesn’t touch us. We need a world where we should care; we should be sincere. We should be sensitive. And death will be there; diseases will be there; old age will be there. It’s all part of existence. But how we can transform that to something positive, this is what makes us. 

Thank you very much.

Transcribed by Ulla Bernholdt

Proofread by Vidya Rajagopal

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How to Surrender and Pray to Sai Baba

 

What is the right method of worship? What is the right method of prayer?

These questions come up very often. Because today, if you see in the world of spirituality, things have become every transactional. You give something, expecting something in return. The essence and the purity of prayer has completely vanished. A true prayer is only a prayer of gratitude, where there are no words. It’s from the heart. Not articulated. If you want to articulate something, you articulate the highest brightness possible, remember that.

Today, in the time of Kali – in the Kali Yuga, everything is very fast. By the time you wake up, it’s almost night. So, we are moving at a speed which is uncontrollable. We don’t get enough time to sit down and meditate, to sit down and pray. First of all, what is essential today is to learn to accept life as it comes. This is also a prayer, a meditation. Accept things as it happens. Avoid resistance. Okay, this is happening now, let me handle it. This situation has come, let me handle it. These are all situations. We can make it a problem, or we can make it an opportunity. It is up to us; it’s up to our disposition. If we are positive, we’ll make every problem, every situation an opportunity, a possibility, a positive thing. Or we can look at everything as a problem. That is our mind-set. It is important to change our mind-set.

When you are connecting to Masters, especially someone as powerful as Sai Baba, first and foremost, do not expect or think that he does not know you. If you go there, he has called you. Without his calling, you can’t reach there. We must understand that it was not our decision to go to Sai Baba. There are numerous people in the world who do not know Sai Baba. And there are numerous people who are connecting as we talk. So, who made this possible? Not me or you. Sai Baba made this possible. If you are connected to Sai Baba, Baba facilitated it. He arranged it.

Then, what will you tell him? If he arranged your connection with Baba, Baba knows everything. You don’t have to tell him anything. Then, what can you tell him? “Thank you for receiving me. Thank you for having me. Thank you for accepting me. This is the right prayer.” That will solve everything. You’re also saying, “Now I have come to your house, whatever you give me is fine for me. My life is settled at your feet.” This is the right prayer. The right prayer is to say, “Thank you, I am fine at your feet. Whatever you desire, or whatever you wish for me is the right thing for me.” If that understanding is clear, all your pains, all your pleasures, you will surrender at Baba’s feet.

Surrender is not from the mind. Surrender is from the attitude of being one with the Supreme Consciousness. Surrender is spontaneous. Just like letting go makes it forgiveness. When you let go, it becomes forgiveness. Forgiveness is a mind game. You tend to forgive, like we talk about tolerance. Tolerance is from the ego. You tolerate another. That is an ego exercise. We should have nothing to do with tolerance, we accept everybody. We accept everything. But that doesn’t mean if something is harmful, we allow it, it is not so. We must make sure that we and our society should remain non-violent. This is our responsibility. If you belong to a community, you must ensure that you and the community remain non-violent. That has to be through discussions, through transfer of awareness and through orientation, not through punishments. Punishment comes last. If you cannot correct something through discussions and orientations, then comes punishment, not punishment first. This is very important to understand.

Whenever you are connected to any Master, whenever you are visiting a Master, do not think that the Master knows nothing. He might know much more than you know, including why a situation happened. Actually speaking, in the true path of spirituality, ‘why’ is not a good word. There is a cause; otherwise, there won’t be an effect. There is always a cause behind every effect. Accept it. When you resist the effect, the cause remains for a longer time. When you accept the effect, then the cause does not have its value anymore. This is the truth of existence, through perpetual acceptance of yourself.

We all have weaknesses. 7.5 billion people of the Earth all have weaknesses. Nobody has only strengths. This is sure. If somebody says I have no weaknesses, they are lying. Everybody has weaknesses. Everybody has strengths. We are all a mixture of weaknesses and strengths. Why don’t we accept our weaknesses? Why do we desire that we should only have strengths? Whenever we desire we should only have strengths, we are fighting with ourselves. We are resisting ourselves. Or we are not accepting a part of ourselves. And that part becomes a glaring pain in our life. What you have not accepted becomes a problem in your life. Instead, you accept, I have weaknesses, I have strengths. Both are fine, this is me. As this incarnation, I am all these.

Baba knows this. When you come to Baba, Baba understands. You are weaknesses and strengths put together. Baba is not looking at you only as strength. You don’t have to hide all your weaknesses from Baba. You tell Baba, this is me, you know it very well. Now, if something is not good in me, I request you to take it away. You leave it to Baba. Then don’t look back. You tell Baba, “Whatever you think is a hindrance to my path of liberation, take it away. I don’t need it. Let it be anything.” This could be painful when it’s removed because most of these things have become a habit. Habits have created comfort zones. And these habits and comfort zones have bound us. They have created patterns. We know it very well. But it’s okay. That’s how life is. So, allow Baba to work on it, and say take away whatever is not good for me. Take it away. This is a good prayer. Prayer of surrender. You’re not asking anything. You’re not requesting, you’re telling Baba, “I have decided to merge with you. You brought me here because without your permission I would not have come here. I would not have known you or met you or reached Shirdi.” Baba says, “If somebody steps on the soil of Shirdi, they become my responsibility.” Play that role very well. Accept that promise very well. Don’t take away yourself when you go. Leave it there. Leave yourself there.

When the mind is with the Master, you are with the Master. When your body is with the Master, there’s no guarantee you are with the Master. Your mind is elsewhere, that’s where you are. It’s not that you’re not visiting Shirdi or you are not in Shirdi, it doesn’t matter. If your mind is in Shirdi, you are in Shirdi. If your mind is with the Master, you are with the Master. If your mind is with alcohol, you are with alcohol. So where is your mind, that’s what you are. This is exactly the truth. So, release all your burdens at Baba’s feet and walk away. Now, what follows you, Baba is giving you that. That is to purify. Understand, Baba will not give you anything which is not good for you. The Tradition won’t do that. The Tradition of Liberation will not do that. If you’re surrendered completely, it will only give what is good for you. Your mind may not accept it because the mind is used to patterns, comfort zones, feeling good. But feeling good has no value on the Path of Liberation. Usually what the mind likes, what the mind loves may not be good sometimes. What you have to do, what is given to you, that’s the right thing to do. No resistance.

So, a true prayer is the prayer of gratitude. Humility is the result. When you are fully in gratitude, you’ll be very humble. Even if you are going to see Baba, you will go with a level of humility where you are receiving. This is how prostration is designed, prostration where your heart and your head comes in one line, in sublimation. That means your ego is fully surrendered at the feet of Baba. When your ego is fully surrendered, you are extremely receptive. That is why our temples are places of rejuvenation. They are places of transformation. Because, through the eyes, the mind gets rejuvenated. Through the ears, through the mantras, the mind gets rejuvenated. Through the smells and the fragrances, through the nose, the mind gets rejuvenated. Through the sandalwood paste, through the vibhuti and udi on the skin, mind gets rejuvenated. Through the prasad and teerth, through the tongue, the mind gets rejuvenated. When you prostrate, from the energy that you come in contact with at that sanctum sanctorum, the mind gets rejuvenated. When you circumambulate, you are soaking your aura in the pure energy of Baba, the mind gets rejuvenated, and the mind gets purified. When you give dakshina or donation, whenever you give money, fruits etc, that amounts to sacrifice. Again, purification of the mind, the mind gets rejuvenated.

When you go to a temple and when you come out of the temple, you are different. You are totally transformed; it’s not just a place of worship. These are places of transformation. Shirdi is a place of transformation. Vaishno Devi is a place of transformation. Sabarimala, all these great places are places of transformation. This is why thousands flow to these places, not just to get a few things happening in life, that’ll happen anyway.

If you are eligible, if you accept life, usually there’ll be no blockages. Blockages happen only when you resist life. Blockages of life are connected to resistance. Otherwise, there’ll be no blockages. Things will flow smoothly, everything will flow smoothly. Life will be good and when you’re able to accept sorrows, as much as you accept happiness, you will have a smooth existence because you are not afraid. In the path of Liberation, fear has no value. The antidote of fear is faith. If you have an overwhelming fear, that shows you are not in alignment. You’re not in alignment with the Guru, you’re not in alignment with yourself. So, when you feel a lot of fear, it is time that you reinvented your faith. Surrender everything. This fear is not mine, I leave it to you. That way, if you surrender, the Master takes over. Master can easily bring light and remove the darkness. You need to open your doors and windows for the light to enter you. Open your heart, faith enters, and grace enters. Where there is faith, there is grace. This is the right way. So, if you want to give something to Baba, give yourself. Say, “Baba, I belong to you, you take care of me.” He does.

Don’t go to Baba as you, you go to Baba as Baba. You have given yourself to Baba means you’ve become Baba. You are Sai Baba. Go there, give yourself and then come back empty. Leave everything there. Your whole life will blossom. If hardships are happening, if pains are happening, understand, Baba is reducing your lifetimes, the number of births. This is a big deal. How else will you reduce it? The usual karmic pattern is when you have a desire, you need fulfilment. Desire – fulfilment, desire – fulfilment. This is how life goes. And it is never ending because each pattern produces more desires.

How will you come out of it? How will you break the pattern? Baba. That’s the prayer, the prayer of gratitude. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for accepting. We may not know Baba, but Baba knows us. Never underestimate that. Baba knows our weaknesses very well, and Baba is not discriminating you because you have weaknesses. Because you have failures in life, Baba will not throw you out. Everything is okay. You are as you are. When you’ve come here, you’re part of the family. You have to be part of the family. That’s what Vittal Babaji said, “Aao beta.” That’s all he says. Even if people have done harm to you, when they come back, you receive them saying, “Come in, come in, aao beta – come my son.”

Masters will never say go away because someone harmed them. When somebody threw a stone at Baba, and he was bleeding, he said, “Injury is here, pain is there.” When you hurt a Master, when you speak ill about a Master, when your mind is contaminated because of others’ words, I always say, “Never look at the world, never see the world through your ears. You always see the world through your eyes. Then only you’ll see reality.” If your mind is contaminated because of others, they also take the burden of contamination. Just like purity, when you give purity, when you do annadan, when you give food and make other people happy, people of all species and everybody happy, you become rich. When you contaminate minds, you become poor. So, what you deliver to the world has a lot of impact on you. When you’re contaminating the minds of people, always remember, you’re taking their burdens also. You’re responsible. Have nothing to do with all this. Don’t go that way. Be pure, deliver purity. Always be steady with Sai Baba. Always be there, and Baba will take care of everything.

 

Transcribed by Tijana Sladoje
Proofread by Shyama Jeyaseelan